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The Golden Years
What are senior citizens worth? We are worth a fortune - silver in our hair, gold in our teeth, stones in our kidneys and lead in our feet Since I last saw you some changes have come into my life I now have two gentlemen come to see me every morning Will Power comes to help me out of bed, Arthur Rightus shows up and stays all day - he doesn’t like staying in one place so he moves from joint to joint. The Vicar called the other day, he said ‘At your age shouldn’t you be thinking of the hereafter? I told him I do that all the time - in the kitchen, in the living room and in the bedroom - I stand there and think ‘what the hell am I here after?’ I am old, but not that old, just a recycled teenager. Your birthday cake collapses under the weight of the candles. How do you know you’re growing old? Everything hurts - and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work. The gleam in your eye is the sun on your bifocals. You feel like the morning after - but you haven’t been anywhere. Senior citizens are the nations leading carrier of Aids - hearing aids, band aids, roll aids, walking aids, medical aids, government aids and - most of all - monetary aids to their children The Golden Years have come at last? I cannot see, I cannot pee, I cannot chew, I cannot screw. My memory shrinks, my hearing stinks, no sense of smell, I look like hell My body’s drooping, got trouble pooping. So, the golden years have come at last? Well, the golden years can kiss my ass ! When we were two I am alone, so now it’s true - there was a time when we were two Those were the days when we would sit and chat - doing little jobs of this and that We would go to the shops and select our meals But now I’m one I know how it feels, to try to cook or get meals on wheels The rooms are empty, there’s not a sound. Sometimes I’m lost and wander around to look for jobs that I can do to bring back the days when we were two. When darkness falls and curtains are drawn - thats when I feel most forlorn. But I must be honest and tell the truth I’m not quite alone - and here’s the proof Beside me here in her chair she quietly waits our time to share She said to me some time ago, ‘Darling, when the time for us comes to go - lets mix our ashes and be together so that we can snuggle up for ever and ever It’s not easy It’s not always easy to hold your tongue when people are unkind It’s not always easy to walk away and put it from your mind But quarrelling never put anything to right it seems to make things worse and leaves a hornet’s nest of grievances to nurse It’s not always easy to turn aside and show the other cheek Because you are afraid they will think that you are spiritless and weak no - it’s not easy but it’s the only thing you’ll find - if you want to keep your friendships. And your peace of mind Until we meet again my love I now know the beauty of life - and understand the deepest sorrow I now know the soaring of heartfelt joy - and the hope of tomorrow I now know with each step I take - faith will see me through I now know the meaning of love with my memories of you Although we are apart our journey will never end it continues on with love until we meet again Vera’s Seat It’s known on the site as Vera’s seat And on days that are sunny and fair the same little group of friends can be seen sitting, enjoying the air smoking and joking and nodding a bit Watching the clouds hurrying on, living old memories, thinking long thoughts - and talking of times that have gone God grants all people joy and content and peace when their life’s work is done For what could be better than this in the end? A fag - and a seat in the sun Good-bye my darling You have broken my heart and made me cry Why oh why did you have to die? We could have gone on maybe a little bit longer and gone for walks when you felt stronger Although I’d love to see you again I could not wish you back again to face more suffering and pain The hole in my heart is so very great now that I’ve lost my very best mate May you be happy my love in the arms of God But I miss you in my arms each morning Miss you and love you My angel, my love My Tree I planted a tree in memory of my beloved wife When she went it seemed that there was nothing left in my life Nothing but the the dear remembrance of the days gone by Those happy days before death came to break loves golden ties But year by year the tree I planted grows before my eyes And every springtime the new leaves open to the skies It seems to bring a promise of the life that is to be And my heart draws comfort From my tree of memories Age You get winded playing cards Your children begin looking middle aged You join a health club but you don’t go A dripping tap causes an uncontrollable urge You know all the answers - but no-one asks you questions You look forward to a dull evening You need glasses to find your glasses You turn out the lights for economy instead of for romance You sit in a rocking chair but you can’t get it to rock Your knees buckle - but your belt won’t Your back goes out more than you do You put your Bra on back to front and it fits better Your house is too big Your medicine chest is too small You sink your teeth into a nice steak and they stay there Who said ‘Age is only in the mind’ My Love I thought that at ninety-two I had done with love and passion Such things as cuddles in the park for me were out of fashion But then I fell in love again Completely without warning The moment that she came in sight that bright and sunny morning Her dark brown eyes, her supple grace Her long blond golden hair Her lovely limbs, her ‘joie de vivre’ Was something I could share I told my wife what had occurred She said that she understood We both decided that we should try To manage best we could My love came home with me to stay I could not ask for more And I show her off with pride Our lovely Golden Labrador Let Us Play Our team, which art in Eleven Hollowed be thy game Our match be won Their score be none On turf - as we score At least seven Give us this day no daily red card and forgive us our lost passes As we forgive those who don’t pass against us Lead us not into retaliation And deliver us from penalties For three is the kick-off The power and the scorer For ever and ever Full time |