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The Golden Years

What are senior citizens worth? We are worth a fortune - silver in our hair, gold in our teeth, stones in our kidneys and lead in our feet

Since I last saw you some changes have come into my life

 I now have two gentlemen come to see me every morning
 
Will Power comes to help me out of bed, Arthur Rightus shows up and stays all day - he doesn’t like staying in one 
place so he moves from joint to joint.

The Vicar called the other day, he said ‘At your age shouldn’t you be thinking of the hereafter?

I told him I do that all the time - in the kitchen, in the living room and in the bedroom - I stand there and think ‘what the hell am I here after?’


I am old, but not that old, just a recycled teenager.

Your birthday cake collapses under the weight of the candles.


How do you know you’re growing old?

Everything hurts - and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work.

The gleam in your eye is the sun on your bifocals.

You feel like the morning after - but you haven’t been anywhere.


Senior citizens are the nations leading carrier of Aids - hearing aids, band aids, roll aids, walking aids, medical aids, government aids
and - most of all - monetary aids to their children


The Golden Years have come at last?

I cannot see, I cannot pee, I cannot chew, I cannot screw.

My memory shrinks, my hearing stinks, no sense of smell, I look like hell


My body’s drooping, got trouble pooping.

So, the golden years have come at last? Well, the golden years can kiss my ass !



When we were two

I am alone, so now it’s true - there was a time when we were two

Those were the days when we would sit and chat - doing little jobs of this and that

We would go to the shops and select our meals

But now I’m one I know how it feels, to try to cook or get meals on wheels

The rooms are empty, there’s not a sound. Sometimes I’m lost and wander around

to look for jobs that I can do
to bring back the days when we were two.

When darkness falls and curtains are drawn - thats when I feel most forlorn.

But I must be honest and tell the truth

I’m not quite alone - and here’s the proof

Beside me here in her chair she quietly waits our time to share


She said to me some time ago,

‘Darling, when the time for us comes to go - lets mix our ashes and be together


so that we can snuggle up for ever and ever



It’s not easy

It’s not always easy to hold your tongue when people are unkind

It’s not always easy to walk away and put it from your mind

But quarrelling never put anything to right

it seems to make things worse and leaves a hornet’s nest of grievances to nurse

It’s not always easy to turn aside and show the other cheek

Because you are afraid they will think that you are spiritless and weak

no - it’s not easy but it’s the only thing you’ll find -

if you want to keep your friendships.

And your peace of mind



Until we meet again my love

I now know the beauty of life - and understand the deepest sorrow

I now know the soaring of heartfelt joy - and the hope of tomorrow

I now know with each step I take - faith will see me through

I now know the meaning of love with my memories of you

Although we are apart our journey will never end

it continues on with love

until we meet again



Vera’s Seat

It’s known on the site as Vera’s seat

And on days that are sunny and fair

the same little group of friends can be seen sitting, enjoying the air


smoking and joking and nodding a bit

Watching the clouds hurrying on, living old memories, thinking long thoughts - and talking of times that have gone

God grants all people joy and content and peace when their life’s work is done

For what could be better than this in the end?

A fag - and a seat in the sun



Good-bye my darling

You have broken my heart and made me cry

Why oh why did you have to die?

We could have gone on maybe a little bit longer

and gone for walks when you felt stronger

Although I’d love to see you again

I could not wish you back again to face more su
ffering and pain

The hole in my heart is so very great

now that I’ve lost my very best mate

May you be happy my love in the arms of God

But I miss you in my arms each morning

Miss you and love you

My angel, my love



My Tree

I planted a tree in memory of my beloved wife

When she went it seemed that there was nothing left in my life

Nothing but the the dear remembrance of the days gone by

Those happy days before death came to break loves golden ties

But year by year the tree I planted grows before my eyes

And every springtime the new leaves open to the skies

It seems to bring a promise of the life that is to be

And my heart draws comfort

From my tree of memories



Age

You get winded playing cards

Your children begin looking middle aged

You join a health club but you don’t go

A dripping tap causes an uncontrollable urge

You know all the answers - but no-one asks you questions

You look forward to a dull evening

You need glasses to find your glasses

You turn out the lights for economy instead of for romance

You sit in a rocking chair but you can’t get it to rock

Your knees buckle - but your belt won’t

Your back goes out more than you do

You put your Bra on back to front and it fits better

Your house is too big

Your medicine chest is too small

You sink your teeth into a nice steak and they stay there

Who said ‘Age is only in the mind’



My Love

I thought that at ninety-two I had done with love and passion

Such things as cuddles in the park for me were out of fashion

But then I fell in love again

Completely without warning

The moment that she came in sight that bright and sunny morning

Her dark brown eyes, her supple grace

Her long blond golden hair

Her lovely limbs, her ‘joie de vivre’

Was something I could share

I told my wife what had occurred

She said that she understood

We both decided that we should try

To manage best we could

My love came home with me to stay

I could not ask for more

And I show her o
ff with pride

Our lovely Golden Labrador



Let Us Play

Our team, which art in Eleven Hollowed be thy game

Our match be won

Their score be none

On turf - as we score

At least seven

Give us this day no daily red card

and forgive us our lost passes

As we forgive those who don’t pass against us Lead us not into retaliation

And deliver us from penalties

For three is the kick-o
ff

The power and the scorer

For ever and ever

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